|Season 2 Episode 12a|
|Original Airdate||November 22, 1992|
|DVD release|| Holiday Celebration|
The Best of Season 2
|Previous Episode||The Dog Broomer|
|Next Episode||The Inside Story|
Aunt Miriam, a bad driver who keeps getting Didi's name mixed up, pays a visit, but her presences stirs up bad memories with Grandpa. Aunt Miriam, it turns out, was the Angelica in his life when he was Tommy's age. Do some things change with time?
- Description from Klasky Csupo
The episode begins with a movie of a giant ant from outer space, which Tommy and Chuckie are watching at Tommy's house. Stu then mutes the TV, knowing that that movie isn't appropriate for one and two-year old children. Just then, the doorbell rings. Stu answers the door, and a delivery boy has a telegram for him. Stu asks the delivery boy if it is a singing telegram, but the delivery boy tells him it isn't. Stu tells the delivery boy he never had a telegram before, and as Tommy and Chuckie walk towards him, he asks the delivery boy if he could sing the telegram for him. The delivery boy decides to do just that, and as Didi and Lou walk up to Stu, he tells him he gets asked that question a lot. In his telegram, the delivery boy explains to the Pickles Family that Aunt Miriam is coming to visit them this weekend, and is looking forward to seeing them, especially her grandnephew, Tommy. After he finishes his telegram, he holds out his hand, expecting a tip, but Stu shuts the door on him.
Didi tells Stu that she hasn't seen Miriam since their wedding day, and tells him what a sweet woman she is. Lou is outraged when he hears this, and tells Didi that Miriam has been the bane of his existence for 76 years. Didi is shocked at what Lou said, and Lou tells her what he said is true. He then tells her that he doesn't want to spend two minutes, let alone two days with Miriam. Stu runs up the stairs to try to get him to reconsider.
As they walk back into the living room, Chuckie asks Tommy why Lou is so upset. Tommy tells him he isn't sure, but it sounds like it has something to do with an "ant". He sees the giant alien ant movie on TV, and Chuckie asks Tommy if he means a giant ant is coming, and Tommy tells him he hopes not.
As Didi dusts the house for Miriam's arrival, Tommy and Chuckie hide behind a potted plant. Lou walks down the stairs with his suitcases, while Stu tries to convince him to stay. Lou tells him that if Miriam's moving in, he's moving out, and he'll stay at the Motel Sticks out by the interstate for the night. Stu tells Lou that he's heard bad things about the Motel Sticks, but Lou tells him that the Motel Sticks has cable, and it doesn't have Miriam. Didi then walks up to Lou and tells him that he's staying at Tommy's house whether he likes it or not, then makes him go up the stairs. Tommy and Chuckie witness this event as Lou tells Didi she can't treat him this way, as he is a grown man. Didi then tells Lou if that's how he feels, he can put his things in Tommy's bedroom, as they're letting Miriam stay in his. Lou is outraged when he hears this. Down the stairs, Chuckie tells Tommy that Miriam must be scary, and Tommy agrees, as he's never seen Lou so angry before. Chuckie asks Tommy what they're gonna do about Miriam, and Tommy tells him that maybe Miriam isn't as bad as Lou lets on. They hold onto each other just in case he's wrong.
Meanwhile, Miriam drives her car at a high speed, and knocks over a pair of trash cans. She passes by a dog, who runs away in fear. Tommy and Chuckie look out the window as Miriam parks her car in the lawn. Didi hears this, and says Miriam must have arrived. As she and Stu go outside, Tommy and Chuckie look at each other, realizing Miriam has arrived. Outside, Stu struggles to open Miriam's car door, and when he does get it open, he asks her if she's all right. Miriam tells him "Yes and No", as she had her hip replaced last summer, but she still can't find a doctor who'll do anything about her lumbago. She then looks over Stu and tells him that he "never did fill out". She asks Didi if she's feeding him, and calls her "Dolly". Didi corrects Miriam, and Miriam tells her that she's eating all right, much to Didi's annoyance. Miriam then tells Stu they should go inside to see his son.
Tommy looks out the front door and says to Chuckie that Miriam must be the "Ant". Chuckie tells Tommy that Miriam doesn't look much like an ant, and that she looks more like a person. Tommy tells Chuckie that Miriam might be from outer space, like the ant in the movie. Miriam comes into the house, and says to Stu and Didi that they have two kids. As she reaches down to grab Tommy and Chuckie, they scream and run away in fear. Didi is shocked when she sees this, and says to Miriam that Tommy is usually so good with strangers. Lou then tells Didi, "Strangers is one thing, it's family you gotta watch out for!". Miriam asks Lou if he's really here, and Lou tells her, "It ain't the pope!". Miriam hasn't seen Lou in years, and tells him he's a sight for sore eyes and hugs him, much to Lou's annoyance. Tommy and Chuckie peer out from the kitchen, and visualize Miriam as an ant trying to attack Lou. Miriam tells Lou he's her favorite cousin, and when they were little, they were as thick as thieves. Lou then tells Miriam that as he recalls, she was the only thief, as she stole all his toys. Miriam thinks Lou is joking, and tells him he's a card. Didi then calls Tommy and Chuckie over, telling them it's time to meet Miriam, and she pushes them towards her. Miriam calls Didi "Sally", and once again, Didi corrects her. Miriam then picks up Chuckie and kisses him, then says she loves his red hair, freckles, and buck teeth. Didi then explains to her that Chuckie isn't their son, rather, he is just visiting. She then introduces her to Tommy. Miriam tells Didi that Tommy looks just like both Lou and Stu did when they were his age. She then tells Didi that it's the Pickles women who get all the looks, and calls her "Kelly". Didi laughs nervously, then corrects her yet again. She then tells Tommy and Chuckie it's time for them to get in the playpen. Stu tells Miriam that he'll show her to her room. Miriam thanks Stu and tells him it's nice of him to do so for her. She then says she hope she isn't putting anyone out. Lou scoffs as he hears this.
In the playpen, Tommy is playing with his ball as he tells Chuckie that Miriam sure is scary, as she smells funny, and has blue hair. Chuckie then tells Tommy about how she kissed him. Tommy tells Chuckie that he understands why Grandpa doesn't like Miriam. Chuckie then tells Tommy that Stu and Didi certainly like her, and maybe she is nice. Tommy tells Chuckie he may be right, but there's only one way for them to be sure about it. Chuckie then knows that Tommy has an idea, and he isn't sure it's such a good one. Tommy tells Chuckie his idea is to go up into Miriam's room and look at her stuff, to see if she really is a bad ant from outer space. Chuckie tries to talk Tommy out of it, but Tommy assures him it's the only way, as he tosses his stacking rings into the air, revealing his screwdriver underneath.
Tommy uses his screwdriver to get out of the playpen, and he and Chuckie watch from the doorway as Didi and Miriam are preparing dinner in the kitchen. Miriam calls Didi "Ginny" and asks her when she's gonna give up teaching to become a full-time mother. Annoyed, Didi corrects Miriam once more, and pulls a bowl of mashed potatoes out of the refrigerator. Miriam sniffs them and asks her if she should put more garlic in them.
Tommy and Chuckie crawl past Lou, who is sitting in his chair, telling Stu about the time Miriam took his favorite ball and threw it over the fence into the neighbor's yard, when they were kids. He tells Stu that Miriam's a monster, but Stu doesn't believe him. Tommy and Chuckie reach the stairs, and Tommy tells Chuckie that all they have to do now is get to the top. Just then, the doorbell rings. Stu answers it, and on his way over, he asks Tommy and Chuckie what they're doing out of the playpen. Drew and Angelica are at the front door, and Stu says hello to them. Angelica is carrying a bouquet of flowers, and tells Stu she brought them for Miriam. As she walks inside, she tells Stu that Miriam isn't just her aunt; she's her great-aunt once removed. Lou overhears this, and figures that if Miriam can be removed once, she certainly can again. Miriam sees Angelica with the flowers, telling her they were a thoughtful gift, and they hug each other. Miriam asks Angelica if she's just the sweetest, and Tommy and Chuckie, witnessing this from behind the stairs, nod their heads, "No" in unison. Didi then calls the family over for dinner.
At the dinner table, Tommy feeds some of his mashed potatoes to Spike. Miriam tells Didi the roast is delicious, but wishes she had taken her advice on the mashed potatoes, and scrapes them off her plate as she calls her "Fifi". Didi corrects her once more, and Angelica scrapes her mashed potatoes off her plate. Miriam then tells Didi that Lou was always making mischief as a baby, including the time he opened her window in the middle of the night and got her sick. She asks Lou if he remembers that time, and Lou angrily tells her he did no such thing. In fact, she got the story reversed; she was the one who opened his window and got him sick. Miriam tells Didi that Lou's memory must be fading, and that Pickles men have always been a little off. Angelica then tells Miriam to tell her another story about when she and Lou were kids. Miriam tells Angelica that she's just a dolly and hugs her, then tells Drew that he has a wonderful daughter, as Angelica is so smart, polite, and well-behaved. Tommy, realizing this isn't true, looks back and forth at Angelica and Miriam as Miriam tells Drew that Angelica reminds her a lot of someone she knows. She then says that Angelica is just like her. Tommy knows that much is true, but Lou is shocked when he hears this. Tommy and Chuckie then look at each other and gulp nervously.
That night, Lou tries to sleep in Tommy's bedroom, but has a nightmare about the time Miriam took his favorite ball and tossed it over the fence into the neighbor's yard. Tommy and Chuckie witness this from Tommy's crib. Tommy then asks Chuckie if he's ready. Despite Chuckie telling him he isn't, Tommy decides to sneak out anyway. He pulls his screwdriver out of his diaper and uses it to open the crib. He and Chuckie sneak out and overhear Aunt Miriam listening to the radio as she exercises. She then decides to use the bathroom, and shuts off the radio. She then takes off her wig and puts it on Lou's bowling trophy. As she walks out of Lou's bedroom, Tommy and Chuckie sneak in. Tommy climbs onto Lou's dresser and turns on the radio, which plays a broadcast that says, "You will take over! Nothing will stop you!". Tommy hears this, and tells Chuckie that Miriam must be getting messages from outer space. Chuckie then points to Miriam's hair dryer on Lou's bed, and Tommy thinks it's a space blaster. Chuckie then points out Miriam's wig on Lou's bowling trophy, and tells Tommy it's not on Miriam's head. Miriam comes back into Lou's room and asks Tommy and Chuckie what they're doing in it. Tommy and Chuckie scream and run away in fear.
Miriam wakes up Lou, who thinks he's in World War II, and the Colonel is waking him up. Miriam tells Lou that Tommy and Chuckie are gone, and Lou realizes that this is an emergency. As Tommy and Chuckie go down the stairs, Miriam tells Lou that she doesn't understand why Tommy and Chuckie would run away from her, as she's usually so good with kids. Lou tells Miriam he doesn't believe her. Miriam tells him it's true, as when they were growing up, he adored her. As they walk down the stairs, Lou expresses his true feelings towards Miriam, telling her that he was terrified of her, as she stole his toys, got him into trouble, and constantly threatened to pound the living daylights out of him. As Lou looks in the hallway, Miriam tells Lou that she had no idea he felt so scared of her, and that she doens't know what to say about it. As he looks under the table, he tells Miriam not to say anything, and to just help him find Tommy and Chuckie.
Lou looks behind the TV, behind the curtains, and even in a drawer. Miriam then explains to Lou that the only reason she bullied him when they were kids was because she was jealous of him. As Lou opens the closet, he asks Miriam if that's really true. Miriam tells him it is true, and as Lou looks in the closet, he finds what looks like Tommy and Chuckie, but when he picks them up, they revealed to be a globe and a feather duster. As he does this, Miriam asks Lou if he remembers the time he got stuck in a big hole in his moms' garden, and two kids they used to play with, Bill and Jill, pulled him out. Lou tells her he does. Miriam then tells Lou that they wouldn't have done that for her, as everyone liked him. As Lou looks in the kitchen, he tells Miriam that everyone at least respected her. Miriam tells him they didn't, and they were afraid of her. She then tells Lou that he was the leader, and since she was the older cousin, she was jealous of him. Lou looks in the stove and tells Miriam he never knew she felt jealous of him. Miriam then hugs him, and he hugs her back. Tommy and Chuckie witness this from under the table, and Lou tells Miriam that she has always been his favorite cousin. Miriam then tells Lou she was his only cousin. Lou tells Miriam that that much is true, and they both laugh together. Tommy and Chuckie run out from under the table, realizing they don't have to be afraid of Miriam anymore. Lou tells Miriam that they've come to see her, and she hugs them both.
The next morning, Miriam kisses Tommy goodbye. As Stu loads Miriam's luggage into her car, Didi asks Miriam if she can't stay a few more days. Miriam tells Didi that she's put her and her family out long enough. As she gets in her car, Lou tells her that he hasn't had so much fun in years. Miriam says goodbye to Lou and his family, and drives out of the driveway, knocking over a potted plant in the process. As Miriam drives her car down the road, Angelica waves to her and runs into the road until Drew pulls her back. Lou tells Stu and Didi that it's nice to make new friends, even ones you've known for 76 years. Stu tells Didi that he's gonna miss Miriam, and tells Didi that Miriam's a great aunt, but picks up Miriam's habit of misnaming her and calls her "Fifi". Didi angrily corrects him, and the episode ends.
- The childhood experience that Miriam and Lou had mirrors that of the events Angelica and Tommy had from Barbecue Story, Slumber Party, and even a later episode Moving Away.
- Although Angelica and Tommy (and their parents) call Miriam "Aunt Miriam," she's technically their cousin and not their aunt.
- To Stu and Drew, she's their first cousin-once-removed.
- To Tommy and Angelica (and later Dil) she's the first cousin-twice-removed.
- The "once-removed" and "twice-removed" is how many times she's "removed" from the generations of Tommy, Angelica, and their parents.
- When this episode aired in 1992, Grandpa Lou was 76 years old.
- Running gag: Miriam mispronouncing Didi's name.