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Cuffed Gallery Transcript

[In Drew and Charlotte's kitchen, Drew is wrapping presents.]

Angelica: [excited] Ohh, Daddy, can I have the handcuff set?

Drew: Sorry sweetheart, but these gifts aren't for you; they're for all the poor unfortunate children at the orphanage.

Angelica: I don't need all the toys; I just want the handcuffs.

Drew: Sorry Angelica.

Angelica" [pleading] But daddy, those kids won't miss one present; they're orphans. They're not used to getting presents you don't want to spoil them do you?

Drew: Honey, when it's your birthday you can have all the presents you want.

Angelica: [emotionally hurt] Ohhh.

Drew walks out, Angelica follows.

Drew: Oh Angelica, I forgot to tell you; your little friend, Chuckie, is coming over to spend the afternoon. I want you to be nice to him this time.

Angelica: But daddy, he's no fun; he's just a baby.

Drew: [Putting the gifts on the top shelf of a closet] That doesn't mean you can cover his glasses in peanut butter.

Angelica: He didn't mind daddy; he thought it was funny.

The Door bell rings.

Drew: Oh, that must be Chuckie now.

Angelica: Oh great, the dumb kid with the goofy hair.

Drew answers the door to see Chaz and Chuckie

Chaz: Hi Drew.

Drew: Hi Chaz. Hi Chuckie.

Chaz: Thanks for watching Chuckie for me.

Drew: Sure.

Chaz: Well, I gotta run. I don't want to be late for my Arthur Murray class. We're starting the samba today. [to Chuckie] Bye, Chuckie; be a good boy.

Chaz dances away singing di di di hup dup dup dowadawa

Drew: [yelling to Chaz] Don't worry about a thing Chaz; we'll take good care of Chuckie. [shuts the door] Won't we, Angelica?

Angelica: Oh yes Daddy; we'll have the bestest time.

Chuckie: [Gulps] Look Angelica; I'm sorry I had to come over. You don't have to play with me or anything. I'll just sit here by myself on the floor 'til my daddy comes back.

Angelica: Never mind that, Chuckie; there's an old saying, "When life hands you a lemon, make apple sauce".

Chuckie: Huh?

Angelica: I need your help. Now listen: we're going to sneak out into the hallway and go into the closet and get that handcuff set before my mommy and daddy can give it away to the orphans.

Chuckie: [confused and indignant] Handcuffs? Orphans? I don't know what you're talking about, but if I did I wouldn't think it was a very good idea.

Angelica: Well get over it Chumley; this is a dog eat dog-food world; there's givers and takers, and me, I'm a taker, now come on.

Chuckie follows Angelica through the house to the bottom of the stairs.

Angelica: Now you stay here and be the lookout. I'm gonna go into the closet and get that handcuff set. Now if anybody comes, yell.

Chuckie: O.K. Angelica.

Angelica goes to the closet, opens it, gets out a small step ladder, climbs up and takes a present from the pile on the top shelf. Suddenly Chuckie yells, startling Angelica who shoves the present back in the closet, climbs down the ladder, puts it away, shuts the closet door and runs to Chuckie.

Angelica: [puffing from running so fast] What happened?

Chuckie: I saw something.

Angelica: Was it my mom?

Chuckie: No.

Angelica: Was it my dad?

Chuckie: No.

Angelica: Well what was it?

Chuckie: A mouse.

Angelica: A mouse? Where?

Chuckie points under a couch. Angelica walks over and pulls a sock from under it.

Angelica: Does this look like a mouse to you?

Chuckie: No.

Angelica: What does it look like?

Chuckie: A sock.

Angelica: Do you know why it looks like a sock?

Chuckie: [scratching his head] Errr.

Angelica: [yelling] BECAUSE IT IS A SOCK!! [throws sock at Chuckie] Now this time wait here and don't make a noise unless you see my mommy or daddy coming, got it?

Chuckie: [remorseful] OK, Angelica.

Angelica: Grrr!

Angelica walks to the closet again and is just about to get the present when Chuckie arrives.

Chuckie: Angelica.

Angelica: What?

Chuckie: Do you need any help?

Angelica: No I don't need any h..... HEY what are you doing here? You're supposed to be the lookout!

Chuckie: I got lonely.

Angelica: You dumb baby!

Chuckie: [The present falls from the closet almost hitting Chuckie] Aaaaaah!

Angelica: Shh. [closes the closet, picks up the present and runs] Come on.

Chuckie follows Angelica to her room where she pulls him in and shuts the door. Angelica then begins to frantically open the present.

Angelica: [while opening the present in excitement] Here it is here it is! It's my very own handcuff set! It's mine mine mine mine mine! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

[Angelica holds up the handcuffs.]

Angelica: Look at these shiny new handcuffs!

Chuckie: What do you do with them Angelica?

Angelica: Oh you can do lots of things, um, like, I can pretend I'm a Police man and you're a bad guy and I can handcuff us together like this.

[Angelica puts the handcuffs on to her and Chuckie. They're on Angelica's left wrist while they're on Chuckie's right wrist.]

Angelica: See? Pretty neat, huh?

Chuckie: I guess so.

Angelica: What do you mean you guess so. These are the neatest toy in the whole wide world.

Chuckie: Uh, how do you take them off?

Angelica: Oh that's easy. You use the key and open up the lock! Now let's see.

[Angelica looks through the packaging for the handcuffs for a key, only to find no key.]

Angelica: They wouldn't sell it to a kid without a key would they?

Chuckie: Uh oh.

[Angelica starts pulling at the handcuffs, hoping she and Chuckie can just pull them off while grunting in frustration.]

Chuckie: Why don't you just get the key?

Angelica: Because there is no key, you cheesehead!

Chuckie: Why not?

Angelica: How should I know why not? It's probably back at the handcuff factory. Some bozo probably forgot to put it in the package.

Chuckie: I didn't know Bozo worked at the handcuff factory.

Angelica: Do me a favor, just don't say anything for a while.

[Chuckie lets out a few frustrated wimpers]

Angelica: This piece of junk!

Chuckie: I guess it's not such a neat toy after all.

Angelica: You! This is all your fault!

Chuckie: Me.

Angelica: That's right. If you hadn't come over here, I never would have snuck into the closet and got that handcuff set in the first place.

Chuckie: But Angelica

Angelica: [screaming] And now we're stuck together!

[Drew overhears Angelica screaming and comes in to check on her.]

Drew: Everything all right?

Angelica: Oh yeah everything's fine. Me and Charles were just, sharing and playing nicely.

Drew: Great Muffin.

[Drew shuts the door leaving Angelica and Chuckie to play alone.]

Angelica: [whispering] Shew! That was close!

Chuckie: I don't wanna be stuck together, how are we gonna get these handcuffs off?

Angelica: Hmmm, give me a minute.

[Angelica and Chuckie quickly pace around the room, trying to come up with an idea. Suddenly, Angelica has a plan!]

Angelica: We need a key right?

Chuckie: Right.

Angelica: Well there's plenty of keys in this house, one of them's gotta work.

Chuckie: Maybe?

[Angelica rolls her eyes at him with a look of disapproval.]

Chuckie: I think right.


[Chuckie and Angelica go all over the house, grabbing up every key in sight, taking every key off the hooks on the walls. Using a yard stick, they grab at the ones they can't reach. Soon, they've collected them all and are about to head back to Angelica's room.]

Angelica: Come on, one of these has got to work.

[Back in Angelica's room, she attempts to use one of the keys on the handcuff set.]

Chuckie: Ow! That hurt!

Angelica: It's gonna hurt worse, if you don't hold still!

[We cut to a view of the rug on the carpet where the pile of keys grows incredibly large, until all of the keys they have collected are in the pile.]

Angelica: Stupid key!

Angelica: This piece of junk, they'll put anything on TV just to sell it to little kids, what a ripoff! Hey wait a minute!

[Angelica is now frantically looking through a toy chest.]

Angelica: I know it's in here somewhere.

[Soon, she comes across a pretend welding kit. She puts on the welding kit and gets to work.]

Chuckie: [covering his eyes with his one free hand.] I can't look.

[Angelica attempts to use the toy welding set, as she hits the flame to the handcuffs, only for the flame to fall off on to the floor. Chuckie picks it up.]

Chuckie: Angelica.

Angelica: What is it?

Chuckie: It's not even hot!

Angelica: [tossing the toy welding set aside and growing frustrated] This piece of junk. Wait! I've got another idea!

[Now, she attempts to use the prongs of an electrical plug to pry at the key whole on the handcuffs.]

Chuckie: Angelica!

Angelica: What?

Chuckie: What if you miss?

Angelica: I'll crush your hand.

[Her aim misses and the prong hits her hand.]

Angelica: Ow, oooh, ow!

Chuckie: You missed.

Angelica: [grumbling] I know I missed.

[Drew overhears Angelica's screams of pain from outside the door. He comes to the door and peaks inside.]

Drew: Everything ok princess?

Angelica: Oh hi daddy, Chuckie and me were having a screaming contest. We were so loud we didn't even hear you come in!

Drew: Oh that's nice. Uh, Chuckie's daddy is on his way over so Chuckie should start getting ready to go.

[Drew closes the door.]

Angelica: Uh oh time's running out!

[Chuckie and Angelica try a number of different things to try to get the handcuffs off. Everything from rolling over the handcuffs with a toy car, to slamming them into a door frame with the door closing on the handcuffs, to pouring purfume sprays on the handcuffs. Each plan sadly failing, until they finally give up, now lying side by side on their backs on the bedroom rug.]

Chuckie: What do you think it will be like being stuck together forever?

Angelica: Well, we'll have to go everywhere together, and probably get married, and whenever we go out people will say, there goes Angelica, the girl who's stuck to the dumb kid with the goofy hair.

Chuckie: Well at least we'll never be lonely.

[Angelica sighs]

Chuckie: I guess this isn't a good time to mention I need to go potty.

Angelica: Forget it.

[The doorbell rings.]

Drew: [from off camera calling in the distance from downstairs] Angelica, Chuckie, Mister Finster's here.

Angelica: Oh no!

Chuckie: Angelica...

[Angelica picks up a puppet off of the floor and slides it over the handcuffs.]

Angelica: Now just stay close and let me do the talking.

[Chuckie refuses to move from the floor.]

Angelica: Would you come on?

Chuckie: But Angelica...

Angelica: Come on!

Chuckie: But Angelica... [followed by babbling]

[The two kids rush out of the room and run downstairs. Now in the entry hall, Chaz is at the door, and Drew is next to Chuckie and Angelica, who have the puppet in between them.]

Chaz: Hi Chuckie, did you have a nice time?

Angelica: Mister Finster, can Chuckie spend the night?

Chaz: Oh not tonight Angelica we really have to go.

Angelica: Well could I spend the night at Chuckie's?

Drew: Maybe some other time Princess.

Angelica: But, I don't want him to leave.

Drew: [stirnly] Now Angelica, Chuckie and Mister Finster have to go!

Angelica: [pleeding] I can't leave him, I can't I can't I can't! Wait!

[As she's screaming this, she and Chuckie are pulling away from one another, stretching the puppet to its limits, about to nearly rip it in half.]

Angelica: Chuck can't go.

Drew: But Angelica why in the hell not?

Angelica: Because, I'll miss him too much. You were right daddy, I did have a lot of fun with Chuckie today, and we got to be bestest friends!

Drew: Well, I guess having friends is good thing, don't you think?

Chaz: I'll say.

Angelica: So, can Chuckie just one night, please, please?

Drew: What do you think, Chaz?

Chaz: Well ok, if it makes the kid happy.

Angelica: [rejoycing] Oh thank you thank you! Come on Chuckie.

[Angelica and Chuckie race back upstairs to her room and slam the door shut behind them.]

Angelica: That was close!

Chuckie: Wow Angelica that was really nice! It's gonna be fun sleeping over and being bestest friends.

Angelica: Wise up mush brain now that was lying. Now what were you babbling about before?

[Chuckie shows his clinched fist to Angelica, where he opens his hand and reveals the key that came with the handcuff set.]

Angelica: Where did you get that?

Chuckie: I found it before under the puppet.

Angelica: Why didn't you say anything?

Chuckie: You wouldn't let me.

Angelica: [undoing Chuckie's side of the handcuffs with the key] Oh you make me so angry! Now listen Chuckie, I don't wanna hear a word from you. No matter what I do, no matter what happens, never speak to me again.

Chuckie: [saddened] Okay Angelica.

[Chuckie leaves the room as Angelica sighs and moves her arm with the handcuffs still on it slightly, causing the empty side of the handcuffs to get stuck to her bed post. Angelica gasps.]

[Angelica then tries to reach for the key that's now on the floor, only it's out of her reach.]

Angelica: Chuckie come in here! Chuckie, Chuckie? Come back Chuckie come back!

Chuckie: No Angelica, I know when I'm not wanted.

Angelica: Please Chuckie, I didn't mean it. Oh Chuckie oh buddy oh pal, we can be friends again. I'll let you take Cynthia, I'll give you Cynthia. I'll give you my chocolates, I'll let you have Fluffy! Oh Chuckie come back!

[The word 'back yelled by Angelica is echoed as the camera pans upward towards the ceiling to give a full view of the room with Angelica still screaming for help as she remains attached to her bed with the handcuffs.]

End of Episode

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