|Season 8 Episode 4b|
|Original Airdate||September 7, 2002|
|DVD release||Season 8|
|Previous Episode||Bow Wow Wedding Vows|
|Next Episode||The Doctor Is In|
The episode begins at Lou and Lulu's retirement home, where a record skips. Lou nudges the record player with his elbow and the record plays properly again. The rest of Lou's family watches as he and Lulu dance the Jitterbug. Angelica is begging for her parents to take her home in time for the Cynthia P.I. sweepstakes special, saying that she'll have more time to hang around old people when she gets old, such as next year, when she turns four. As Lou and Lulu finish dancing the jitterbug, Drew, Charlotte, Stu, and Didi all applaud. Lou then tells them that next, they'll be taking up golf.
At the golf course, Lil and Kimi are playing with the golf ball cleaner, thinking it's a toy. Lil then blows a bubble from the hole, which floats towards Tommy, Chuckie, and Phil, who are all playing in a sand trap. Phil is satisfied with himself, as he stuffed his entire diaper with sand. As Chuckie builds a sandcastle, Tommy points out Lou playing on the "pudding green". The rest of Lou's family watches as Lou gets a hole in one. Next, it's Lulu's turn. As she hits her golf ball, it bounces off a tree, and Lou ducks to avoid getting hit by it. Lulu says, "Fore!" then realizes she's supposed to say that before she hits the ball. Inside the retirement home, Lou and Lulu rest on the couch. Lou tells Stu, Didi, Drew, Charlotte, Angelica that ever since he moved into the retirement home with Lulu, he's been happier than he ever has before in his life. He now has a beautiful woman by his side, and all the free time in the world. Drew then says he wishes he could say the same, and Charlotte stares angrily at him. he then says that he was referring to the free time. He then reveals that he got called into work tonight. Charlotte is not pleased when she hears this, and tells Drew that she has her power yoga class tonight. Now, they need someone to look after Angelica. They look over at Didi with nervous grins on their faces, and Didi tells them that she's happy to look after Angelica. Angelica then tells Drew and Charlotte that Cynthia P.I. is on tonight, and Drew responds by telling her that she can watch it at Uncle Stu's house with the babies. Angelica is horrified when she hears this, and looks over at the babies, who are standing near a computer and playing with pieces of paper. Angelica knows that the babies will be noisy and interrupt the special.
That night, at Tommy's house, as Angelica waits for the Cynthia P.I. special to start, she is annoyed with how loudly the babies are playing with musical instruments. She angrily walks up to them and tells them that Cynthia P.I. is about to start. The babies play quieter, and Kimi says that playing with their musical instruments is fun, but not as much fun as Lou and Lulu's retirement home. This gives Angelica an idea. Phil asks Tommy when they get to retire, and Tommy tells him they have to be at least five years old. Angelica tells them they're old enough to retire right now. The babies are impressed when they hear this, and Angelica assures them they're just like old people; they don't have a lot of hair or teeth, they take lots of naps, eat mushy food, and most importantly, they don't have jobs. Tommy tells Chuckie, Phil, Lil, and Kimi that Angelica is right, and that it's time for them to retire. Chuckie, Phil, Lil, and Kimi all cheer upon hearing this.
A few minutes later, Angelica redecorates the playpen to make it look like a retirement home. She calls it "Drooling Oaks", and tells them to get in. Tommy tells her that the playpen doesn't look too much like Lou and Lulu's retirement home. Angelica tells him it isn't exactly, but they had better retire right now, because they may be too old for it later. As Chuckie, Phil, Lil, and Kimi get in the playpen, Tommy asks Angelica if his little brother, Dil, can stay outside the playpen, as he still has a lot to do before he gets to be his age and has to retire. Angelica tells Tommy Dil can, and pushes him into the playpen. As she closes it, she tells the babies they can't go out of it. Chuckie asks Angelica if she really means it, and Tommy points out that Lou leaves his retirement home sometimes. Angelica tells him that he only comes out to see them, and now they're in their own retirement home. She then tells them to relax and enjoy their retirement as she walks back to the couch. Chuckie tells Tommy that it feels like they've had a short life before their retirement. Kimi says that she'll miss playing in mud, and Phil says he's going to miss eating mud, as does Lil. She says those days were the best, and Tommy tells her they can make even better days. Chuckie tells Tommy he's right, and Tommy tells Chuckie, Phil, Lil, and Kimi that it's time for them to start being retired people. Phil asks Tommy how they should do it, and Tommy tells him he's not sure yet.
Anglica is back on the couch, glad she doesn't have to deal with the babies, or their crying, screaming, or stinky diapies. The Cynthia PI special begins, and Angelica screams excitedly. After the intro, Steve Malone, Senior Junior Vice President of the Cynthia corporation tells the viewers to keep their Cynthia P.I. ticket close, as they could win an entire truckload of Cynthia Dream merchandise. Angelica pulls out her ticket upon hearing this.
Back at the playpen, Chuckie has an idea; they can do all the fun things Lou and Lulu did at the retirement home. Phil decides the first thing they should do is dance the "litterbug". Lil then points out that they need music before they can dance. Phil then tells her that he was dancing to his own music. Chuckie looks around and finds a tape player, and a tape cassette. It is of farm animal noises, but it is the only tape they have. Tommy walks up to them and tells them they can improvise by dancing like Lou and Lulu would if they were cows and pigs. In the Cynthia P.I. special Angelica is watching, Cynthia unlocks a safe and finds a note from the Diamond Thief. As she reads what's on it, it is drowned out by the sound of a cow mooing. Angelica then wonders if the thief is a cow. She then realizes the sound is coming from the babies' tape player. The babies dance along to the tape, until Angelica smashes the player open and tosses the tape aside, yelling at the babies to be quiet. As she walks angrily back to the couch, Tommy picks up the broken tape and says now they can't dance anymore. Suddenly, Kimi has an idea; they'll play golf. Phil likes this idea, but Chuckie objects, telling Tommy that Angelica said they can't leave the playpen. Tommy then tells him that Lou only leaves his retirement home to visit them, so if they visit a baby, it should be okay. He then decides that they can visit Dil. He opens the playpen with his screwdriver, and he, Chuckie, Phil, Lil and Kimi all walk up to Dil, who is playing with some wooden blocks. The babies all say hello to Dil, but Dil then dirties his diaper. Tommy then decides that they've done enough visiting a baby for one day.
In Tommy's bedroom, the babies play golf. The golf ball rolls out of Tommy's bedroom, and down the stairs. Downstairs, Angelica continues watching the Cynthia P.I. special, including a scene where Cynthia works undercover in a Russian circus. The golf ball bounces off her head, and the babies all stare nervously at her, realizing they're in a lot of trouble. Angelica angrily chases them back into the playpen, and tells them not to dance, play golf, or make any noise at all. Chuckie asks them what they're supposed to do now, and Angelica tells them they could read a book, as its something even babies can't mess up.
Angelica goes back to the couch and eats cookies while watching the rest of the Cynthia P.I. special. In the special, Cynthia is being chased by a giant black truck. Stu passes by, wondering how kids can get hooked on such mindless drivel, but then sees the car chase, and decides to watch it with Angelica. He sits down and eats some of Angelica's cookies, but then Didi calls for his help in the kitchen. Stu then tells Angelica to tell him how the special ends.
Back in the playpen, the babies try to read books, but they don't know how to read. Tommy then pulls out his Randy Pandy Walkety-talkety Storytime Bear, and tells Chuckie, Phil, Lil, and Kimi that Randy could read to them. They all like this idea. Tommy switches Randy on, and Randy begins telling a story. Chuckie then says he heard the story before, and Phil asks how do they change Randy's station. He and Lil fight over Randy, which ends with Randy being tossed out of the playpen. When he lands, Randy malfunctions, and is stuck walking while saying, "I'm Randy Panda!" in a continuous loop. Chuckie then realizes that Randy is heading towards Angelica. Angelica continues watching the Cynthia P.I. special, including the scene where the big black truck pushes Cynthia off a cliff, but Cynthia safely parachutes down. Cynthia says she knows who's in the truck, as she deciphered the license plate. As she tries to say what the license plate says, Randy walks up to Angelica and drowns it out. Angelica is outraged when she hears this, and tosses Randy back into the playpen. She then runs up to the playpen and angrily tells all the babies its time to go to bed and be quiet. As she walks back to the couch, her sweepstakes ticket falls out of her pocket and into Dil's reach. Dil picks up the ticket and chews on it. Tommy and Chuckie have witnessed this, and Chuckie wonders if they should tell Angelica. Tommy tells Chuckie that Angelica told them to go to sleep and be quiet. All the babies fall asleep, including Dil, who has now chewed the ticket to pieces.
During a commercial break, Steve Malone tells the viewers to get their tickets ready, as the sweepstakes is coming up soon. Angelica checks her pocket, and realizes her ticket isn't in it. She looks all over the couch, but can't find it. She then runs up to the playpen and wakes the babies up. As Chuckie awakens, he says his nap was really short. Angelica asks if the babies have seen her sweepstakes ticket. The babies point out that Dil has the ticket, and Angelica is shocked. She then tells the babies they have a job to do, to help her put the ticket back together before the commercial break ends. Angelica and the babies find most of the pieces, and Angelica glues them back together, but then finds out one piece is still missing, despite her and the babies having looked everywhere. Tommy points out that they haven't looked quite everywhere yet, and pulls the last piece out of Dil's diaper just in time, as Dil now dirties it. Phil then points out they've had a close call. Angelica glues the last piece on her newly-repaired ticket and runs back to the couch, only to miss who the winner of the sweepstakes was. Tommy, Chuckie, Phil, Lil, and Kimi all walk up to Angelica, who tells them to go back to the playpen. Chuckie tells her that they're not retired anymore. Angelica asks him what he means, and Tommy tells her that she gave them jobs. Lil points out the jobs were to help her find her ticket and put it back together. As the commercial break ends, Angelica tells them that even though they aren't retired anymore, they should still leave her alone to watch Cynthia P.I.. Angelica then says that even though she missed the sweepstakes, she can still catch the end of the special. Tommy tells Chuckie, Phil, Lil, and Kimi that he enjoyed his retirement, but missed jumping on the couch. As he and the other babies jump on the couch, Angelica watches the end of the special, where Cynthia reveals who stole the diamond. Before Cynthia can say who the Diamond Thief is, the TV suddenly changes its channel to the Weather Channel. Angelica looks back and gasps when she sees that Tommy accidentally stepped on the remote. Tommy says, "Oops." nervously, and Angelica emits a scream so loud, it can be heard across the galaxy as the episode ends.
- Rany Panda is a parody of Teddy Ruxpin
The transcript can be found here
Cynthia: "The Diamond Thief left this very important note! It says..."
Farm Animals Tape: "Moo!"
Angelica: "What? The thief's a cow?"
(The babies play golf.)
Tommy: "Hole in five!"
Lil: "A bazillion!"
Lil: "You're opposed to say a number, Phillip!"
Phil: "You guys said em' all already!"
Randy Panda (repeated line): I'm Randy Panda!
Cynthia: "And the Thief is..."
(The channel suddenly changes.)
Wayne Skyler: "Wayne Skyler with 'The Weather'!"
(Angelica gasps and sees Tommy's foot on the remote.)
Tommy "He he, oops?"
(Angelica screams throughout the galaxy.)
The gallery for this episode can be found here