| Ice Cream Mountain | Gallery | Transcript |
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(scene opens with the neighborhood panning along the road with a few passing cars, Tommy looks out the window of the car, he is with Stu, Drew, Chuckie, Phil, Lil and Angelica, Stu is behind the wheel)
Angelica: Daddy, when are we gonna get to the ice cream parlor?
Drew: Soon, sweetums, very soon.
(Angelica sits back down in her car seat)
Stu: We better find an ice cream parlor quick before these kids start a riot.
Drew: Used to be one on every corner, but not now.
Angelica: Daddy!
Stu: Back then, ice cream was ice cream--not this crazy frozen yogurt-gelato-rice stuff.
Angelica: Daddy!
Drew: And they had real flavors, too, like chocolate, vanilla, strawberry--not this meatloaf chunk or avocado swirl.
Angelica: DADDY, DADDY, DADDY!!!
Drew: (turns to her, yells): WHAT IS IT?! (realizes this, softly): Cupcake?
Angelica: (sweetly): Are we there yet?
Drew: Soon, sweetheart. Very, very soon.
(Angelica groans in disappointment and crosses her arms)
Stu: Now there's something that hasn't changed.
Drew: Yeah. (they see a playpark) Funland! Remember those games of miniature golf we used to play there when we were kids?
Stu: How could I forget? The golden days of our youth.
Drew: Too bad we don't have time to play a quick one right now.
Stu: Yeah, too bad. But we promised to get those kids some ice cream, and that's what we're gonna do: get them some ice cream.
Drew: I agree wholeheartedly.
Stu: (pauses then smiles): Ah, what the heck. They can wait a little longer.
Drew: Yeah.
(they pull into Funland, Stu and Drew get out of the car, Drew gets Angelica out)
Angelica: Is this where the ice cream is, daddy?
Drew: Uh... well, pretty close, sugar cake. Uh, but daddy and Uncle Stu have some important business to do first, and then you'll get all the ice cream you can eat.
Angelica: Oh, boy!
Babies: Wow!
(the Rugrats see the whimsical wonders of the miniature golf course)
Tommy: This is the neatest place I ever sawed!
(Stu and Drew are amazed as well)
Drew: Ah, miniature golf.
Stu: The sport of kings. After you.
Drew: No, no, no, after you.
Stu: Oh, but I insist.
Drew: Oh, no, no, no, I insist.
(Stu and Drew link their elbows happily and walk in together until they stop realizing something)
Stu and Drew: (both gasp): THE KIDS!!!
(Stu grabs Tommy, scene cuts to Angelica riding on Drew looking at the golf course, she sees an ice cream monument)
Angelica: (gasps): Now that's what I call ice cream!
(Drew and Angelica head to an automatic glass door, it opens and Angelica gazes at the front desk with golf clubs and tees, a mustachioed man, Earl pokes up by the register)
Earl: Hello there, friends! Earl Skaggs is my name, mini-links are my claim to fame. I'm the club bro owner and operator of Funland golf. Can I interest you boys in eighteen holes of pure putting pleasure?
Stu: That's what we're here for, Earl.
Earl: Call me Mr. Skaggs! All my friends do. (leaves with Stu and Drew): Now, step right this way.
(Angelica turns to the window and jumps up and down only seeing the top of the giant ice cream)
Angelica: (disappointed): Oh...
Earl: Okay now, you got your course A, course B, front nine, eighteen, double-trouble-triple whammy. What'll it be?
Stu: Just once through will be fine.
Earl: (hands the brothers what is said): Here's your scorecard, your pencils, your balls, your beginner's putters...
Stu: Hold on there! Did you say beginners? (chuckles) We're not beginners.
Drew: Yeah, we've played lots of times!
Earl: Oh, of course. I didn't mean it that way. It's just that I didn't figured you wanted to rent one of these! (shows a high-tech golf club): The Eagle-Eye Super-Putter 4000Z! This is the kind of club the pros use.
Drew: (takes it): I'LL TAKE IT! Um, just to, you know, try it out.
Stu: Same here! Just to try it out, too.
(Angelica continuously and furiously jumps up and down to see the ice cream, she stops them grins fiendishly, she walks over to the four babies playing with the tees and golf balls)
Angelica: Hi, Tommy. What you guys doing?
Tommy: Nothing, Angelica. What are you doing?
Angelica: Oh, nothing. I saw a whole mountain made of ice cream. But besides that...
Phil: What?! A whole mountain of ice cream?!
Lil: Where, Angelica?
Angelica C'mon, I'll show ya!
(scene cuts to the babies on top of each other giving Angelica a leg-up)
Tommy: Do you see it, Angelica? Do ya?
Angelica: Quit movin'! I'm almost there.
(Angelica is about to see it but she suddenly falls as Angelica and the four babies begin to topple all over each other)
Stu: (off-screen): Okay, everybody ready?
(Stu and Drew are carrying their golf gear and wearing golfers' hats, the babies and the two brothers leave)
Earl: Have a good time! And remember: if you make a whole in one on Ice Cream Mountain, you get a free game! (to himself, sneakily): Of course, no one ever gets a hole in one on Ice Cream Mountain. (laughs): EVER! (continues laughing)
(scene cuts to the golf course where the brothers and the babies arrive at the first course with a Ferris wheel with an octopus in the middle and a turtle in the course)
Drew: Mmm, what would you say to a little bet? I mean, just to make things interesting. Say, five bucks a hole?
Stu: Shame on you, Drew! Betting is a bad, bad thing! (quietly): Make it ten.
Tommy: (as the brothers leave): Well, Angelica, did you see it? Did you see Ice Cream Mountain?
Angelica: Course I saw it, dummy! Now here's what we're gonna do: we're gonna lead a expilition and go across the fun land and find Ice Cream Mountain.
Chuckie: By ourselves?!
Angelica: Yes, by ourselves! And then we're gonna scoop up all the ice cream and split it up equal--only I get most because I saw it first. So c'mon!
(Angelica and the babies leave)
Stu: You first, Drew. I insist.
Drew: No, no, no, I insist. You first, little brother.
(scene cuts to the Rugrats passing along another course of a giant magic lamp with a genie with a swords moving up and down from the open cover)
Chuckie: (sees this): Wow!
(the babies arrive at a castle at another course where a drawbridge is automatically opening and closing)
Chuckie: Ooh!
(Chuckie loses the trail as he continues focusing on the castle until he heads to a big statue head with flaming red eyes and smoke coming out of the nostrils, Chuckie turns to the statue as he sets foot on the statue's tongue to the mouth)
Chuckie: AAAAHHHH!!!
(Chuckie quickly runs back to the babies as they walk pass a course with a windmill until he collides right into Phil, creating a domino effect knocking over Angelica too)
Angelica: Okay, who did it? Which one of you babies knocked me down?
(The babies stare on gulping nervously, neither wanting to confess, until Chuckie raised his hand meekly from the back of the group)
Angelica: (kneels down): What did you think you was doing, Chuckie? (holds a fist)
Chuckie: Uh... uh...
Angelica: Did you think it was funny? Did you think it was nice? (gangs on Chuckie closer): Did you think it was SMART to knock somebody down who is so much older and prettier and stronger than you are?
Chuckie: No!
Angelica: What were you thinking then, huh?!
Chuckie: (nervously): Well, I was thinking...
Angelica: What?! Huh? Huh? HUH?!
Chuckie: (very fast): I was thinking maybe there wasn't any ice cream mountain!
(Tommy, Phil and Lil gasp in total shock)
Phil and Lil: No ice cream mountain?!
Angelica: (points at him): YOU take that back!
Chuckie: (scared): But... you asked me what I was thinking!
Angelica: TAKE IT BACK!!
Chuckie: But I...
Angelica: (waves her fist): You want a knuckle sandwich?!
Chuckie: I, I... (gets caught on a windmill propeller): YAAAAHHHH!!!
(Angelica gets whacks from the windmill's propeller)
Chuckie: HELP!!! GET ME DOWN!!! GET ME... Wow! (sees Ice Cream Mountain)
Tommy: What happened, Chuckie?!
Chuckie: I see it!! I see Ice Cream Mountain!!
Tommy, Phil and Lil: (cheering): Hooray!
Chuckie: (lands): It's got gumdrops and cherries and marshmallows and all kinds of stuff, and it's real, real big, bigger than a cloud!
Angelica: That's what I told you! Now let's go!
(the babies rush past a line of other golfers)
Golfer #1: C'mon, c'mon!
Golfer #2: Haven't got all day!
Golfer #3: Not getting any younger back here!
(Stu and Drew are at an Egyptian course, Stu looks into the high-tech club positioning the ball and puts the ball in the hole)
Stu: (falls to his knees): YES! What a comeback!
(Drew frowns in embarrassment)
(scene cuts to the five Rugrats rushing to the field where they see Ice Cream Mountain)
Babies: Wow!
Angelica: C'mon! We're almost there!
(they rush to the ice cream until a giant gingerbread man with a menacing face pops up blocking their way, the babies gap and scream)
Phil and Lil: LET'S GET OUTTA HERE!!
Angelica: Just one collar-pickin' minute! I didn't come all this way to be chased off by some dumb cookie!
Tommy: But Angelica, that's a gingerbread man! (the gingerbread man slowly lowers) How are we gonna get past a gingerbread man?
Angelica': Don't be such a dumb head, Tommy! (points): That's not a real gingerbread man; it's a fake. All we gotta do is wait for him to go down into his toaster, then we can run across the top before he pops back up again.
Chuckie: I'm not going, Angelica! That gingerbread man is more scarier than the dog that lives next door, or the guy on the oatmeal box, or...
Angelica: (gets annoyed, shows Chuckie her fist again): Is he more scarier than THIS?
Chuckie: (threatened): Nope, not scarier than that.
(the gingerbread man sinks completely to the ground)
Angelica: C'mon!
(Angelica runs off, Tommy inhales deeply and follows, Phil and Lil run after him)
Chuckie: Oh, great! Last as usual. (he runs after them until the gingerbread man pops up, screams): YAAAAAHHHHH!!! (Chuckie flies off to the ground and somersaults to the babies, shakes his head fretfully): Why me? Why always me? (looks up happily): Wow!
(Chuckie sees Ice Cream Mountain)
Angelica: I give you... Ice Cream Mountain! Dig in!
(the four babies cheer and do so until they bonk their heads on the plastic hollow side of the ice cream)
Tommy: Hey! It's hard as a rock!
(Chuckie knocks on the hollow formation)
Lil: Maybe it's frozen solid.
Tommy: (pats on it): It's not even cold.
Phil: But if it's not cold, Tommy, how can it be ice cream?
Angelica: I know! Maybe the good stuff is all inside!
Phil: Look! Here's a door.
(Phil opens the door, the babies go in to where a sign reads "Take your best shot" where the golf ball goes in, Stu and Drew have arrived with many complaining golfers following)
Drew: Last hole, all tied up.
Stu: (frowns): It wouldn't be all tied up if you were keeping score right!
Drew: Well, look who's talking, Mr. That-Was-Just-A-Practice-Swing!
(Stu slams his hat down in anger)
Golfer #1: Let's go fellas!
Golfer #3: You're ruining things for everyone!
(scene cuts to the five Rugrats trudging inside Ice Cream Mountain)
Tommy: I don't know, Angelica. This doesn't look like ice cream.
Angelica: There has to be ice cream in here some place! Otherwise, why would they call it Ice Cream Mountain? (gasps): Look there! (pointing a pile of crumpled paper in the main hole) Maybe that's where they're hiding it!
(Angelica runs and reaches into one hole then removes the papers in the main hole and stacks them in the left and right holes)
Angelica: (peers in the main hole): Hmm... (sees the golf hole)
Tommy: What d'you see, Angelica?
Angelica: (upset): Nothing!
Lil: This isn't the ice cream mountain.
Phil: It's all fake!
Chuckie: I knew it, I knew it, I knew it. (lightly kicks dust)
Angelica: No! Ice Cream Mountain is real. I just know it is. It just has to be!
(scene cuts to the angry line, Earl shows up seeing all the commotion)
Earl: Hey, what's going on here?!
Golfer #3: It's those guys!
(Earl walks towards Stu and Drew)
Golfer #2: Yeah!
Golfer #4: They're the slowest golfers I've ever seen!
Golfer #1: Why doesn't the owner do something?!
Earl: Now, gentlemen, do you think we might move it along a little bit? There are other people who want to play.
Drew: YOU stay out of this, okay?! I've had it up to here with you trying to hurry us along! We're paying customers! (turns to Stu, fed up) You first, little brother.
Stu: No, you first!
Drew: I said YOU first! What do you want, A WRITTEN INVITATION?!?!
Earl: Come on, fellas! You guys are practically pros. Why don't you both just hit your balls at the same time?
(Stu and Drew go silent then shrug at each other, they simultaneously do so, the two golf ball enter the hole where the babies see them ricochet to the other direction)
(scene cuts to the back of Ice Cream Mountain where Earl, Stu and Drew arrive at the hole, Earl grins)
Earl: Well, that's it. Game's over. (confiscates the golf clubs) You both lost.
(the two golf balls head to the main hole where they bounce from the crumpled paper Angelica had placed)
Stu: (sees something): Hey, wait a minute!
(the two balls come out of the hole, Earl gasps and grinds his teeth as the two balls enter the hole, a jack-in-the-box character with a cherry on top of its head bounces up holding a "Hole in One" sign on the tope of Ice Cream Mountain)
Ice Cream Mountain (on the intercom, singing): Hole in one! Hole in one! Funland is a world of fun!
Stu: (happily, while Drew smiles): WE WON A FREE GAME!!!
Earl: (bewildered): But... but that can't happen! There's just no way!
Golfer #2: Hey, if those guys can get a hole in one, anybody can!
(one of the golfers puts and successfully gets a hole in one)
Golfer #5: (happily jumps up and down): Hey, that guy got a free game!
Ice Cream Mountain (singing continuously): Hole in one! Hole in one! Funland is a world of fun!
(every single golfer successfully gets a hole in one)
Earl: (flabbergasted): OH, NO! I'M RUINED!
(scene cuts to the Rugrats coming out of Ice Cream Mountain with Chuckie holding the door open)
Stu: (shakes hands with Drew): Nice game, big bro!
Drew: You said it, little bro.
(Angelica cries loudly getting the two brothers' attention, the four babies are pouting sadly)
Angelica: I WANT MY ICE CREAM!! (continues sobbing)
Stu: You know, we didn't really pay enough attention to the kids today.
Drew (seriously): You're right, Stu. (enthusiastically): We got a couple of free games. Maybe we could let the kids play. It won't take long.
Earl (sobs desperately, kisses Drew's hand): Oh, please, no! Anything but that! I'LL GIVE YOU ANYTHING!!!
Stu: You think we could find something the kids would like?
(scene cuts to a whole thing of ice cream sundae as an exact replica of Ice Cream Mountain)
Angelica: Mmm, I told ya. Didn't I tell ya? Mmm, yeah sure did! I KNEW there was a whole mountain made of ice cream!
(the five Rugrats dig in happily enjoying their ice cream ending the episode)