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No More Cookies Gallery Transcript

[The episode begins with a view outside a door. A mysterious shadow walks up to the door, then a hand wearing a greenish-brown glove opens the door. Both hands then pick up a cookie jar rested on the kitchen counter. The hands open the cookie jar, and as a view from inside the jar is shown, Angelica is revealed to be the one wearing the greenish-brown gloves.]

Angelica: "Bingo!"

[Angelica pulls off one of the gloves with her teeth. She then uses that hand to reach into the jar and pull out a cookie. She eats the cookie, then reaches into the jar and pulls several more cookies out. As she eats the cookies, Tommy, Chuckie, Phil, and Lil walk up to the doorway and watch Angelica eat the cookies noisily.]

Chuckie: "I never seen anyone eat like that before!"
Lil: "Not even Reptar!"
Phil: "Kinda scary!"

[Angelica continues reaching into the cookie jar and eating cookies. She pauses when her stomach gurgles, then continues eating cookies afterwards. When she is down to the crumbs, she pours them from the jar into her mouth. She puts the jar back onto the counter, then gulps and burps, causing crumbs to fly out of her mouth. She sighs happily, and places a hand affectionately on her now-full and -swollen stomach, as if she feels that she is now more attractive.]

Angelica: "Now, let's see what those dumb babies are up to."

[Angelica removes her other glove and pulls down her sleeve. Tommy, Chuckie, Phil, and Lil all run away as Angelica walks towards the doorway. She walks into her bedroom, and waves at Tommy, Chuckie, Phil, and Lil, who are on the carpet. Phil is sitting in a chair his size, and Lil is playing with a teddy bear.]

Angelica: "Hiya, babies! Wanna play with Cynthia's new workout center?"
Tommy: "Sure. How do you play?"
[Angelica walks up to her Cynthia workout center playset.]
Angelica: "It's easy! See, this is Cynthia's..."

[Angelica picks up the dumbell over the workout bench, but when her stomach gurgles, she drops it, breaking the glass of the playset.]

Angelica: "Ohhhh!"
Tommy: "Are you okay, Angelica?"
Angelica: "Yeah, I'm fine. I don't know what happened. Now, let me show you this..."

[Angelica reaches in, when her stomach gurgles again.]

Angelica: "Ohhhh!"
Tommy: "Angelica, what's wrong?"

[Tommy stands up.]

Angelica: "It's the weirdest thing, I, I keep getting these really bad tummyaches!"

[Angelica shakes her bulging stomach.]

Tommy: "Tummyaches?"
Angelica: "Yeah, I wonder if I ate too many..."

[Before Angelica can finish, her stomach gurgles again.]

Angelica: "Ohhhh! Ohhhh!"

[Angelica stands up, clutching her stomach, and Tommy, Chuckie, Phil, and Lil all stare at her in shock.]

sAngelica: "I think I need to lie down."

[Angelica burps, then collapses, getting her head caught in her Cynthia workout center playset. The next scene takes place in Angelica's bedroom. Angelica opens her mouth.]

Angelica: "Ohhhh!"

[A Doctor walks up to Angelica and places a tongue depressor on her tongue.]

Doctor: "Now say, 'Ah'!

[Angelica burps. She gurgled up.]

Doctor: "Uh-huh. Uh-huh."
Angelica: "Ohhhh."

[Drew and Charlotte are standing next to the Doctor in concern.]

Charlotte: "Will she be all right, Doctor?"
Doctor: "Mrs. Pickles, it seems your daughter has a rather severe case of acute dispectic gastritis."
Drew: "Oh, no! What's that?"
Doctor: "Ha ha! A tummyache, Mr. Pickles. A simple, ordinary tummy ache."

[Drew smiles nervously.]

Doctor: "Could have been caused by anything! Undercooked meat, spoiled milk, perhaps even a few too many cookies."
Angelica: "Ohhhh!"
Doctor: "She'll be fine in a day or so!"

[The Doctor picks up his medical bag. The next scene takes place outside Angelica's house as the camera zooms in on it.]

Angelica: "Ohhhh!"

[In Angelica's bedroom, Tommy, Chuckie, Phil, and Lil all walk up to Angelica, who is still in bed.]

Tommy: "Hi, Angelica."
Angelica: "Tommy, is that you?"
Tommy: "Uh-huh."
Angelica: "Come closer, cousin Tommy."

[Angelica waves her hand at Tommy, who walks up to her.]

Angelica: "Babies, I need to ask you a favor!"

[Angelica grabs Tommy by the front of his shirt and pulls him forward. She then lets go.]

Tommy: "Sure, Angelica, anything!"
Angelica: "I'm sick, Babies. Real sick, and it's all because I ate too many cookies! So from this moment on, I never want to eat another cookie again!"

[Chuckie, Phil, and Lil all gasp upon hearing this. Angelica's head collapses.]

Tommy: "But Angelica, cookies are your favorite food!"
Angelica: "That's why I need your help! If I try to eat cookies, you babies gotta stop me!"
Tommy: "But Angelica..."

[Angelica grabs the front of Tommy's shirt and pulls Tommy forward.]

Angelica: "Promise me!"
Tommy: "Okay, Angelica. We promise."
Angelica: "No matter what?"
Tommy: "No matter what."
Angelica: "Even if I beg, even if I cry, even if I threaten to beat your baby brains in?"
Tommy:"Okay, Angelica! We promise, we promise! No matter what you do, we won't let you have any cookies!"
Angelica: "Good! You can go now."

[Angelica lies down and waves at Tommy.]

Angelica: "I need my rest."

[The next scene takes place outside Tommy's house the next day. Drew drives his car into the Pickles' driveway. Didi, having just baked a fresh batch of cookies, puts them into the jar, when the doorbell rings.]

Didi: "Coming!"

[Drew and Angelica are outside the door when Didi opens it.]

Drew: "We gotta hurry, Didi, or we'll be late for the auction!"

[Drew looks down at Angelica]

Drew: "Now, be a good little girl for Grandpa, sweetie!"
Angelica: "Of course, Daddy!"

[Drew lets go of Angelica, and she runs into Tommy's house. Lou is on the couch, having fallen asleep after reading a FISHIN' magazine. Angelica walks past him Tommy, Chuckie, Phil, and Lil are in the playpen, and Phil is pulling on a gum-like substance in Lil's mouth. Angelica walks up to the playpen.]

Angelica: "Hi, babies, how's it..."

[Angelica sniffs.]

Angelica: "All right, where are they?"
Tommy: "Where are what?"
Angelica: "Don't play dumb, the cookies! I know they're around here, I can smell em'!"

[Angelica sniffs, and Tommy stands up.]

Tommy: "But Angelica..."
Angelica: "Of course; The kitchen!

[Angelica runs into the kitchen. She looks around, until she sees the cookie jar on the counter.]

Angelica: "Aha!"

[Angelica runs up to the cookie jar, but just as she grabs it, she is pulled back.]

Angelica: "Hey!"

[Tommy is revealed to be pulling Angelica back.]

Tommy: "Don't you remember? Yesterday you made us promise not to let you eat cookies ever again!"
Angelica: "Oh, yeah. I forgot about that."

[Phil and Lil walk up to Tommy and Angelica.]

Tommy: "So no more cookies, right?"

[Tommy walks up to the cookie jar and pulls it off the counter. He walks away backwards with it.]

Angelica: "Sure, Tommy. No more cookies."

[Angelica runs up to the cookie jar, but Phil and Lil hold her back by pulling on her dress. They grunt as they try to hold her back, but she walks towards the cookie jar, pulling them along.]

Tommy: "Angelica, if you're gonna keep tryin' to get these, I'm gonna have to hide em'!"

[Angelica grunts as Tommy walks away, carrying the cookie jar.]

Angelica: "Wait! I'll make you a deal!"

[Tommy stops and turns to face Angelica upon hearing this.]

Angelica: "Just let me have, say, ten or fifteen cookies, and after that, I won't eat any more!"

[Angelica puts one hand over her heart and holds the other one up.]

Tommy: "Sorry, Angelica. I can't break my promise!"

[Tommy walks away, and Angelica walks up to him. Phil and Lil grunt as they try to hold her back.]

Angelica: "Please, Tommy! Just one little cookie! Please!"

[Chuckie runs up to Tommy.]

Chuckie: "Maybe you should let her have a cookie."

[Phil and Lil let go of Angelica's dress, Phil walks up to Chuckie.]

Phil: "Yeah, don't be so mean, Tommy."
Lil: "What's one little cookie gonna hurt?"

[Tommy turns to face Chuckie Phil, Lil, and Angelica.]

Tommy: "No! I promised Angelica that no matter what she did, no matter how much she begged, no matter how much she cried, I wouldn't let her have any cookies!"

[Angelica clenches her teeth in anger, and Phil and Lil hold her back by her dress. Tommy points at Chuckie, Phil, Lil, and Angelica.]

Tommy: "And guys, I'm gonna keep my promise!"

[Phil and Chuckie look at each other.]

Chuckie: "I love it when he gives these big speeches!"
Tommy: "You guys watch Angelica. I'm gonna hide these cookies!"

[Tommy walks away.]

Angelica: "Oh!"

[In the next scene, Angelica draws a cookie on a pink piece of paper with a blue crayon. She, along with Tommy, Chuckie, Phil, and Lil, are all in the playpen, drawing on pieces of paper with crayons.]

Angelica: "Cookie, cookie, cookie, cookie, cookie, cookie, cookie, cookie, cookie, cookie, cookie, cookie, cookie, cookie, cookie!"

[Angelica, who has drawn many cookies, drops her crayon and stands up.]

Angelica: "Scuse' me a sec, I'm gonna go check on the babies!"

[Angelica walks away.]

Tommy: "Hey, Chuckie, where'd Angelica say she was going?"
Chuckie: "To check on the babies."
Tommy: "Oh, okay."

[Tommy and Chuckie stop drawing upon realizing that they have just been fooled by Angelica.]

Tommy, Chuckie, and Lil: "We are the babies!"

[Angelica is now in Tommy's bedroom, tossing various toys out of his toy box.]

Angelica: "Cookie, cookie, cookie, cookie, cookie, cookie, cookie, cookie, cookie, cookie,"

[By the time Angelica finds the cookies at the bottom of Tommy's toy box, Tommy's room is now a complete mess.]

Angelica: "Aha!"

[Angelica pulls the cookie jar out and hugs it.]

Angelica: "Cookies! My beloved cookies! I have found you!"

[Tommy walks up to Angelica and takes the cookie jar from her.]

Angelica: "Hey! I wan't gonna eat em'! I just wanted to hold em' a little!"

[Phil and Lil walk up to Tommy.]

Tommy: "Sorry, Angelica. This is for your own good! Now, I'm gonna go hide these in an even better place where you won't find em'!"

[Tommy, Phil, and Lil walk away as Angelica frowns and collapses.]

Angelica: "Oh!"

[Outside Tommy's house, Angelica's shadow can be seen in Tommy's bedroom. The camera zooms in on it as Tommy returns.]

Tommy: "Okay, they're all hid!"
Angelica: "Thanks a bunch, Tommy! It's awful nice of you to go through all this just to keep your promise!"
Tommy: "Sure, Angelica."
Angelica: "And you know what? Since you babies are all being so nice to me, I'm gonna play a game with you!"

[Tommy walks up to Angelica.]

Tommy: "Gosh, Angelica, that's really nice!"

[Angelica walks up to Tommy and puts her hand on his shoulder.]

Angelica: "Awww, it's the least I could do!"

[Angelica walks up to Phil and Lil.]

Angelica: "How about a nice game of hide and go peek?"
Phil and Lil: "Yeah! Let's play hide and peek!"
Angelica: "Great! And since you babies have been so nice,"

[Angelica pulls on Phil's ear.]

Angelica: "I'm gonna volunteer to be it first!"
Chuckie: "Wow, Angelica, you're the greatest!"
Angelica: "Okay,"

[Angelica covers her eyes with her hands.]

Angelica: "I'll close my eyes, and you babies go hide!"

[Phil, Lil, and Chuckie all run away to hide.]

Angelica: "One, two,"

[Phil and Lil are hiding under Tommy's crib.]

Angelica: "Three, eight,"

[Tommy and Chuckie are near the lamp. Chuckie is hiding under a blanket, and Tommy is hiding behind a teddy bear.]

Angelica: "Ten!"

[Angelica uncovers her eyes.]

Angelica: "Ready or not, here I come!"

[Angelica walks up to Tommy's crib and looks inside. The twins back up as she looks.]

Angelica: "Hmmm. No Tommy, no Chuckie, no Phil, no Lil!"

[Angelica walks up to the curtain and looks behind it.]

Angelica: "I wonder where they could be!"

[Angelica walks past Tommy and Chuckie. Tommy peers from behind the teddy bear.]

Chuckie: "Hey, Tommy, she didn't hardly even look for us!"
Tommy: "Don't worry, Chuckie. We just got really good hiding places!"

[Angelica holds a drawing of a cookie up to Spike's nose. Spike sniffs the drawing. Angelica is holding onto his leash.]

Angelica: "Now go find the cookies, Spike!"

[Spike runs into the backyard, dragging Angelica along.]

Angelica: "Good boy, Spike! Find the cookies!"

[Spike sniffs the grass in the backyard, then howls. He runs towards his doghouse, and Angelica follows behind, panting heavily. They stop when they reach Spike's doghouse.]

Angelica: "Good work, Spike! Bring cousin Angelica the cookies!"

[Spike goes into his doghouse and barks. As he comes out, Angelica holds out her hands, expecting the cookie jar. Spike puts a drool-covered bone squeak toy in her hands, which she drops in disgust as Spike pants.]

Angelica: "Ick!"

[Spike picks up the squeak toy and walks away. Angelica waves her fist angrily at him.]

Angelica: "Same to you, fur face!"

[In the kitchen, Angelica opens a drawer. She looks inside, but all she finds are kitchen utensils. She sighs in disdain as she closes the drawer. The rest of the kitchen is revealed to be a mess thanks to her looking for the cookie jar. In Stu and Didi's bedroom, Angelica opens the closet drawer and pulls several coats off the hangers and onto the floor. She then looks for the cookie jar in Didi's vanity, tossing various items aside. She then walks up to Stu and Didi's bed and looks underneath. Having not found the cookie jar, she crawls away. In the living room, Lou is still asleep on the couch. Angelica looks behind him, not waking him up, then walks away. In the bathroom, Angelica lifts the lid of the back of the toilet and looks inside, but she still doesn't find the cookie jar. She frowns, then walks miserably back into Tommy's bedroom.]

Angelica: "All right, all right. Tommy, you're behind the teddy bear, Chuckie, you're under the blanket, Phil and Lil, you're under the crib. Game's over!"

[Phil and Lil uncover their eyes.]

Phil: "How'd you find us, Angelica?"
Angelica: "Ah, I knew you was there the whole time, I was just off looking for the cookies!"

[Tommy walks up to Angelica. He, Phil, and Lil all gasp upon hearing her.]

Tommy: "But Angelica, you're not opposed to have any cookies!"
Angelica: "I know, I know, but I just can't live without em!"

[Chuckie walks up to Tommy, Phil, and Lil.]

Angelica: "Cookies mean so much to me! I remember the first time I ever saw a cookie!"

[The screen flashes back to the day Angelica was born. A view outside the hospital is shown as the camera zooms in on it, and an Ambulance's siren blares. Drew and a nurse push open the doors with labels that say, DELIVERY ROOM 1 in yellow letters, and the nurse is pushing Charlotte, who is on her cell phone as she holds the newborn Angelica, who is wrapped in a pink blanket, in her arms.]

Charlotte: "It's a girl, Jonathan! Her name's, uh..."
Drew (whispering): "Angelica!"
Charlotte: "Angelica! What? No, don't be silly, of course I'll be back in the office, tomorrow! You can look forward to it!"

[In the waiting room, Lou, Stu, and Didi are all waiting. Lou hits his hearing aid, Stu is holding a box of It's A Girl! brand cookies, and Didi is reading from a NEW PARENT magazine, with a diaper advertisement on the back cover. She reaches into Stu's box and pulls out a cookie. She stands up when she sees Drew, Charlotte, the Nurse, and of course, the newborn Angelica.]

Didi: "Oh, Charlotte, she's beautiful!"

[The newborn Angelica looks up at the cookie, and coos as she reaches for it. Didi pulls it away from her.]

Didi: "No! You're too little to have a cookie! Ha ha ha ha!"

[Upon hearing this, the newborn Angelica Rendezvous cries. The camera zooms in on her mouth, which is used as a transition to the next scene. The camera zooms out, revealing a one-year-old Angelica to be crying in a stroller. She soon stops Rendezvous crying.]

Angelica (narrating): "It broke my heart! But later, I got to experience their magical taste."

[A mother passes by, with a baby boy in her stroller. The baby boy is holding a half-eaten cookie in one hand and a rattle in the other. As Baby Angelica passes by the baby boy, she takes the cookie from him. The baby boy stares in question as Baby Angelica eats the cookie noisily.]

Angelica (narrating): "From that moment on, I loved cookies! Nothing could keep me away!"

[In the next scene, Drew is trying to get the one-year old Angelica to walk to him.]

Drew: "Come to Daddy! Come to daddy!"

[Baby Angelica coos as she tries to walk to Drew, then trips and lands on her bottom.]

Drew: "Oh, that's okay, try again, sweetie!"

[Baby Angelica stands up, and coos as she tries to walk to Drew, then she grunts as she trips and lands on her bottom again. Charlotte walks in, carrying a plate of cookies.]

Charlotte: "Any luck?"

[Drew gets off the couch as Charlotte sets the plate of cookies down on the table next to him.]

Drew: "Nah, I think she's still too little to walk on her own."

[Baby Angelica, having seen the cookies on the plate, stands up and walks towards it without tripping.]

Charlotte: "Look, Drew, she's walking!"

[Drew gasps in delight upon seeing Baby Angelica walk. Baby Angelica coos as she walks towards the plate of cookies faster.]

Drew: "That's it! That's it, cupcake! Come to daddy, come to..."

[Baby Angelica coos as she shoves the cookies from the plate into her mouth and eats them. Drew and Charlotte watch Baby Angelica as she eats the cookies.]

Drew: "Oh."

[The screen transitions to Charlotte looking down at Baby Angelica, who is sitting in her high chair.]

Charlotte: "Come on, sweetie. Say 'Mo-mmy'!"

[Baby Angelica turns to face Drew.]

Drew: "Say 'Daddy', Angelica. 'Da-ddy'!"
Baby Angelica: "Coo-kie!"
Charlotte: "What?"
Baby Angelica: "Coo-kie! Cookie! Cookie! Cookie!"

[Baby Angelica pounds her fists on the tray of her high chair.]

Baby Angelica: "Cookie! Cookie! Cookie! Cookie! Cookie! Cookie! Cookie! Cookie! Cookie! Cook..."

[The camera moves up to Drew and Charlotte, who look at each other in confusion. In the next scene, a two-year old Angelica can be seen holding a doll in her arms as she eats from a box of YUMMY brand cookies.]

Angelica (narrating): "As I got older, I learned all the varieties; chocolate chip,"

[In the next scene, Angelica in her normal age tears open a bag of groceries and finds a bag of Oatmeal cookies.]

Angelica (narrating): "Oatmeal,"

[Angelica pulls the bag of oatmeal cookies out of the bag of groceries. She opens the bag, and pours the cookies into her mouth. The next scene takes place on a Christmas tree, where a gingerbread cookie can be seen.]

Angelica (narrating): "Gingerbread,"

[Angelica pulls the gingerbread cookie off the tree, bites its head off, and puts the cookie back on the tree. Angelica's flashback ends.]

Angelica: "Each one delicious, special in its own way. So you see, Tommy, I just gotta have the cookies! They're part of who I am!"

[Angelica gets on her knees and begs.]

Angelica: "Please tell me where they are, please, please, please!"
Tommy: "Uh!"

[Angelica grabs the front of Tommy's shirt and pulls Tommy forward.]

Angelica: "I need them, Tommy! I can't live without them!"

[Phil walks up to Tommy.]

'Phil: "I don't know, Tommy, I don't think you should tell her!"
Chuckie: "Yeah, she'll eat em' all if she finds out they're under your Grandpa's bed!"
Angelica: "What'd you just say?"
Chuckie: "Um, uh, nothing! Uh, I didn't say nothing!"
Angelica: "That's what I thought!"

['Angelica lets go of Tommy's shirt and runs towards Lou's bedroom.]

Tommy: "No, Angelica, no!"

[Tommy, Chuckie, Phil, and Lil all run after Angelica. She pants heavily as she gets closer to Lou's bedroom, and pushes the door open. Tommy, Chuckie, Phil, and Lil all pant heavily as they run after Angelica. Angelica looks under Lou's bed and reaches under it. She pulls out the cookie jar.]

Angelica: "Yes! Ha ha ha ha!"

[Angelica runs away just as Tommy, Chuckie, Phil, and Lil get to Lou's bed. Angelica pants heavily as she runs across the hallway, with Tommy, Chuckie, Phil, and Lil following her.]

Tommy: "Come back, Angelica!"

[Angelica runs down the stairs, and Tommy, Chuckie, Phil, and Lil all follow her into the kitchen.]

Angelica: "Keep away, babies!"

[Angelica runs into the laundry room. She trips over a laundry basket, losing her grip on the cookie jar, and causing it to fly into the air.]

Angelica: "No!"

[The cookie jar lands in a tub of soapy water. The cookies become wet and soapy as Tommy pulls the now-empty jar out of the tub.]

Chuckie: "Well, Angelica, I guess you're not gonna eat those cookies now."
Angelica: "Just watch me!"

[Angelica jumps into the tub and eats the wet and soapy cookies noisily.]

Tommy: "But Angelica, they're all wet and soapy!"
Angelica (with her mouth full): "I don't care!"

[Angelica continues eating the wet and soapy cookies noisily, then stops.]

Angelica: "Uh-oh! Oh!"

[Angelica gargles, and Tommy looks at her in concern. Angelica holds her now-full stomach.]

Angelica: "Tommy! Oh! Closer."

[Tommy walks up to Angelica.]

Angelica: "Closer. Oh!"

[Tommy walks up to Angelica. He, Chuckie, Phil, and Lil all stare at her in shock as she snaps.]

Angelica: "Never ever ever let me have cookies again!"

[Angelica burps, and many bubbles fly out of her mouth. The screen fades to black, ending the episode.]

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