| Psycho Angelica | Gallery | Transcript |
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(The episode begins in the African savanna as the sun rises, and we hear elephants trumpeting and monkeys screeching. A lion roars. A tiger leaps and snarls. A gorilla beats its chests and growls)
(Pull back as it's revealed to be a box of animal crackers.)
(Cuts to the living room. Chuckie is curled up next to the box in worry while Phil and Lil are playing with their belly buttons, and Tommy looks outside the window seeing Spike, howling and acting like a dog. He stops for a moment and notices Chuckie.)
Tommy: What's wrong, Chuckie?
Chuckie: I was trying to get an animal cracker.
Tommy: (peering into the box) Hmmm, are they all gone?
Chuckie: No, that's the problem. There's too many of 'em. I'd like to get a nice monkey or a zeber ["zebra"], but it's dark in there, and I might get a tiger or something scary like that.
Tommy: That's the fun of it, Chuckie. You don't know what you're gonna get until you get it. (He pulls out two gorilla crackers from the box and gives Chuckie one of them.)
Chuckie: (eating it) It's not fun for me.
(In the kitchen, Angelica is playing with her Cynthia Gymnasium play set, as she makes Cynthia bounce on the trampoline, while Didi is on the phone.)
Angelica: Okay, Cynthia. Work those abdominals. (Another bounce.) What? Hungry already?
Didi: Oh, but your restaurant's only two blocks away. How could they get lost for an hour?
Angelica: (holding up Cynthia) Aunt Didi, Cynthia wants a hot dog for lunch, and a hundred cookies.
Didi: No cookies right now, Angelica. We've ordered a pizza, and it's gonna get here any minute, I hope. (She then calls to Stu, who's getting out a scrub brush and some dog shampoo from the sink cabinet.) Honey, before you give Spike his bath, would you take Tommy a bottle of juice?
Stu: Sure thing, Deed.
(Angelica takes this poorly. She then takes her set to the play pen as Tommy digs some lint from his belly button.)
Tommy: (to Phil and Lil) Are you sure it's okay to eat this?
Lil: It's all natural.
(Tommy puts the lint in his mouth.)
Tommy: I wish I had a bottle.
Angelica: Ah, quit whining. Your dad's about to bring you some juice. (sarcastically) Like anybody would ever bring me anything.
(Stu comes into the living room with a bottle of juice for Tommy.)
Stu: (giving Tommy the bottle) Here you go, champ. Hydrate in good health.
(Tommy takes his juice while Angelica looks out the window and sees Stu put Spike in the tub. Chuckie is astonished.)
Chuckie: Wow, that's amazing!
Tommy: No, I think it's apple.
Chuckie: I mean, didn't you see what just happened? (to Angelica) How'd you do that, Angelica?
Angelica: Do what?
Chuckie: You said Tommy was going to get a bottle, and then he got it! How did you know?
Angelica: I just... (She stops for a moment and then imagines the animal crackers float out of the box.) ...have magical powers.
(The babies gasp in surprise.)
Lil: Really?
Angelica: Sure, I can predict ["predict"] the future. I'm a psycho. ["psychic"]
Tommy: (rather suspicious) Hmmm. If you're really a psycho, predict something else.
Angelica: Uh, okay. Uh, I predict that, um... (She thinks long and hard.)
Tommy: (walking away) See? She was just faking.
(Angelica doesn't take this very well until she looks out the window and sees something pull up into the driveway.)
Angelica: Ah! (It's a pizza delivery truck. She then goes back to the babies.) Wait! I see something...something cheesy.
Lil: Is it between my toes?
Angelica: No, no. It's a...a pizza.
Phil: Pizza? (pushing Lil out of the way) Where?
Angelica: It's... It's on... It's on the moon. No, it's...in the Specific ["Pacific"] Ocean. No, wait, wait. It's... (A knock on the door.) It's here!
(The babies look as Stu goes to the door and opens it to reveal the pizza delivery boy with a couple boxes of pizza.)
Stu: Finally.
(The babies gasp in surprise and awe, including Tommy.)
(Angelica dresses up of psycho. As the babies start to line up.)
Angelica: Ok, who will be next to on ravel the mysteries of the future?
Phil: Me!
Chuckie: No! Me! Me!
Angelica: I can tell you it all happens today, tomorrow and then in the next day for I'm the great Angelico your psycho friend.
Tommy: Chuckie this is dumb, she can't prevent the future. Now come on let's go play in the sandbox.
Chuckie: Um uh, just wait a minute. Oh, Great Angelica, should I play in the sandbox with Tommy?
Angelica: Hmm, that's a tough question, I have to check my disco ball.
(Angelica shakes the snow globe.)
Angelica: Uh oh...
Chuckie: What?
Angelica: I forget that you play in the sandbox, you will... get sand in your pants!
Chuckie: (Gasp) No!
Tommy: Chuckie, I got diaper rash, and it doesn't bother me.
Angelica: Now, Phil, Lil, maybe you like to know who's going to have the most candy when you grow up?
Phil: Yeah, yeah! I were...
Lil: Out of my way, Phil!
(Lil smacks the watermelon with a radio.)
Tommy: Boy, you're not fooling me Angelica. You know about the future, you must want to make give anyone feel bad and get their stuff and stuff.
Angelica: Tommy, you got me all wrong. I'm just a humble servant.
Tommy: Hey guys, I'll say we all go outside and play with our toys instead of giving them to Angelica.
Angelica: Fine, I only wanted to help. That's why before you go or I'd wish you let me warn you guys about Spike.
Tommy: Uh, what about Spike?
Angelica: Well, you don't believe in these, so I guess we'll just have to melt.
Tommy: Melt, what do you mean melt?
Angelica: Poor doggy, out there in the hot sun.
Tommy: Dogs don't melt when it's hot!
Angelica: They do when they've turned into snowman.
Tommy: Spike's not a snowman!
Angelica: (Opens the sliding door) You wanna a bath? Spike! Spike!
(Spike barks and splashes Stu into the pool, Angelica gasps while Spike gets covered with soap bubbles and goes inside getting soak and wet.)
Tommy: (Gasp) Spike!
Chuckie: He's melting.
Tommy: Hurry guys! We got to save him!
Phil: I'll get him!
(Tommy chases Spike and he trips while Phil catches Spike, he trips too.)
Phil: I got him! I got him! I got him! Ugh.
(While Spike runs, Lil uses the blanket to cover Spike, but he was scared of getting covered. Chuckie gets scared of Spike as a ghost, Phil grabs Spike's tail and the couch chair fells down. Spike runs back outside while Tommy and his friends holding a blanket chasing Spike. Angelica walks away, but later on.)
Angelica: Mmm hmm, I'm the Great Angelica. (Chewing) If everybody has to do everything I say, I can have anything like...
(Angelica grabs anything from the animal cracker box, but suddenly... the box is empty, it's just crumbs.)
Angelica: Uh-oh.
(Doorbell rings)
Didi: Hi, come on in. We're just about to watch the video of Stu's knee surgery.
Betty: I hope you got the few slices of that pizza left, Didders, brought my own topping (takes out her topping that gives Didi a bad smell).
Howard: And I baked some cookies.
(As Angelica sees the cookies in the glass bowl, she smells the cookies.)
(Then Stu walks in, covered with bubbles.)
Didi: Stu, I've thought Spike was the one who need a bath.
Stu: Heh, let's eat.
(Tommy and his friends scrubbing the bubbles off of Spike.)
Tommy: Hurry you guys.
Angelica: Hey babies, I got good news.
Tommy: What is it, Angelica? Is Spike going to be okay?
Angelica: Yep, you save Spike from melting.
All: Yay!
Angelica: That's the good news, the bad news says you all going to turn into bugs.
(The babies gasp while the cricket hops away.)
Chuckie: What? Great.
Phil: What kind?
Angelica: Slimy ones with feelers.
Chuckie: But I don't want to turn to a bug!
Angelica: Sorry, I know it's kind of sudden.
Tommy: But Angelica, I don't feel slimy.
Angelica: That's the first sign, you feel completely normal then wish that you're inch high and birds are feeding it to their babies.
Tommy: Well, there's got to be someway to keep us from turning into bugs.
Angelica: Well, I'd like to help you guys, um let see? I can almost see it. Almost... (Getting stressed) Oh, I'm sorry my little babies. I'm just too weak, if only I had some cookies. Oh well, maybe you guys should hide under the refrigerator so your dads don't smoosh you by accident.
Phil: There must be more cookies somewhere.
Angelica: Actually, and I shouldn't tell you this but uhh...
(Later, Angelica and the babies walk to the kitchen as Lil looks at the parents watching TV in the family room.)
Stu: This is where they went under the patella and hit that vein. Watch how that nurse kills over like a rotten log.
(Splat on TV) (Didi, Howard and Betty are all laughing at the funny surgery part because it was hilarious.)
Howard: Look at that spurt!
(While watching TV, Phil drags Lil to the kitchen for help, Angelica keeps an eye out for the babies climbing up to a kitchen counter and behind the bottom shelves.)
Chuckie: Duh, hurry Tommy! I think I'm starting to grow more legs!
Phil: Ugh! Don't turn into a bug now, Chuckie! You're the tallest!
Lil: Nee, uh, at least what I'm been so heavy!
Angelica: Oh Tommy, please hurry. I think you starting to grow wings.
Tommy: Uh, don't move you guys!
(Tommy sits the shoulders on Chuckie.)
Chuckie: Ow ow ow! You hurt my fingers!
Tommy: Chuckie watch out!
(Tommy and Chuckie tumbles and bumps on Phil and Lil.)
Chuckie: Why did you step on me, Phil? I'm not a bug yet.
Phil: If you turn into a bug of for me I'm going to eat you!
Angelica: Please babies, there's no time for fight now. You've got to get those cookies before you'll get hairy and gross.
Tommy: Somebody pushed me!
(Next scene as Angelica keeps an eye out again on Tommy, Chuckie, Phil and Lil reaching the glass bowl of cookies, but suddenly.)
Didi: Can I get anybody else a slice?
(Angelica gasps in horror as she hides with the babies except Tommy.)
Betty: You'll have one for Howard, Didi. His cholesterol counts too low.
(Didi comes to the kitchen while Tommy hides behind from the pizza box, she look at the glass bowl of cookies when she smells it, then Didi moves the cookies back and she opens the cabinet to get the plate for her extra pizza as Tommy hides while slips. And then Didi closes the cabinet, she began to eat her pizza and goes away.)
Tommy: Whoa WHOOAAHH!! Whoa WHOAH! WHAAAAAAAAA-aaaaa!! (Sigh) Whew.
Angelica: Quick Tommy! I think Chuckie's got to be first! His eyes are bugging out!
Chuckie: Aah! Oh no! Quit bugging me! Quit bugging me!
(Chuckie quits bugging Phil and Lil while they fight each other.)
Tommy: Ah, forget it , Angelica! I'm not getting you anymore stuff!
Angelica: What?!
Phil: But Tommy, you got to!
Lil: If you don't, the Great Angelica won't be able to help us!
Tommy: Don't you guys understand? We used to be happy before we know about the future. Now, Chuckie you won't go in the sandbox and Phil and Lil you aren't learning about the stuff that have make happen yet. I'll see we just turn into bug thing back to be happy.
Phil: I guess we could be happy being bugs,
Lil: Maybe we turn into beautiful eyes.
Angelica: Well fine! If you babies want to be bugs, that's okay with me! I'll get those cookies for myself!
Tommy: I don't think you should do that Angelica.
Angelica: Why not?
Tommy: (as the fortune-teller) Because if you do, you're going to get hit with a pizza!
Angelica: You think you're the psycho now? Don't make me laugh, there's nothing there but COOKIES!
(She pulls the tablecloth, and all the cookies spill on the floor the pizza to falls on top Angelica's head. She begins crying loudly.)
Didi: Oh, Angelica, what have you done?
Stu: Now we're going to have to give her a Bath. Have we got something to scrape that cheese out of her hair?
(Stu and Didi carry Angelica away.)
Chuckie: Wow, Tommy! That was amazing.
Lil: You predicted that the pizza would hit Angelica and it did!
Phil: What's your next prediction Tommy?
Tommy: Hmm, I predict... we're all going go play in the sandbox and have fun!
(Fades to Phil and Lil playing the sand and Chuckie gets in.)
Tommy: You still scared about not no one's going to happen Chuckie?
(Chuckie grabs a sand in his hand.)
Chuckie: Yeah, I think your baby we're not supposed to know about that stuff, so from now on I make my own predictions.
(But then Chuckie puts the sand in his shorts, began to chatter.)
Chuckie: That wasn't so bad. (Chatters)
(Tommy, Phil, Lil and Chuckie are having fun playing in the sandbox in the ending.)
(In the loving memory of Andy Houts)